So...I'm pretty sure I decided what I wanna do for school. I was thinking, and pretty much set, on going to the ATC after the wedding. Well, I found out one of my friends is gonna be going to the Art Institute in DC next fall and...I've been leaning more towards that. I've always wanted to go to school out of state! And everything just seems to make sense. I already know the area, I'll know someone before I even get out there and already have a potential roommate, the Art Institute is a really great school AND has the type of program I'm looking for..it just all fits! It's got me so excited!! (And I just can't hiiide it~)
With the way things are going with Ronnie and I, I'm pretty sure this is my best route. He's been thinking about moving to Arizona with his mom and grandparents since he found out about it last week. Basically what's left of our relationship for the next couple months is gonna rely on that decision. I'm not saying that if he decides not to go that that'll mean I won't be going to DC, but what that means is that I'll have to make the decision on where it goes from here. I've already set my mind and told him what I've been thinking of doing, and we've both decided a long distance relationship won't work. So regardless, it's not gonna last much longer. But ya know, I was thinking about this today while I was talking to Ash about it and I said to myself, "Who's to say that once we both do some growing up that we won't get back together, ya know?" I know for a fact that I love him and I care about him deeply, and he does for me too, so I can't totally disregard that either. The fact is is that we're both still young and need more life experiences and a lot of growing up to do. When we do decide to break it off, I know we'll still be friends and that love will still be there, and that's the least I can ask for, ya know? And really, what more would I want if it's for the best?
At least while I'm writing this I don't feel any pain or regret. I can write this with a smile because for once I'm really confident in that we're still gonna be close and it won't end violently. He's one of my dear friends and just having that friendship means so much to me. I already feel like I've grown.
Another thing that I found out..which was supposed to be a secret, is that I'll be getting kidnapped for my 21st birthday. My friends are gonna fly out and we're possibly going to Vegas or Wendover. IT'S GONNA BE SO MUCH FUN. I can't wait for it!! So I'll be in a wedding, gettin to go to Vegas or Wendover, then to SCOTLAND, then to DC!!! This next year is gonna be BOMB!
With the way things are going with Ronnie and I, I'm pretty sure this is my best route. He's been thinking about moving to Arizona with his mom and grandparents since he found out about it last week. Basically what's left of our relationship for the next couple months is gonna rely on that decision. I'm not saying that if he decides not to go that that'll mean I won't be going to DC, but what that means is that I'll have to make the decision on where it goes from here. I've already set my mind and told him what I've been thinking of doing, and we've both decided a long distance relationship won't work. So regardless, it's not gonna last much longer. But ya know, I was thinking about this today while I was talking to Ash about it and I said to myself, "Who's to say that once we both do some growing up that we won't get back together, ya know?" I know for a fact that I love him and I care about him deeply, and he does for me too, so I can't totally disregard that either. The fact is is that we're both still young and need more life experiences and a lot of growing up to do. When we do decide to break it off, I know we'll still be friends and that love will still be there, and that's the least I can ask for, ya know? And really, what more would I want if it's for the best?
At least while I'm writing this I don't feel any pain or regret. I can write this with a smile because for once I'm really confident in that we're still gonna be close and it won't end violently. He's one of my dear friends and just having that friendship means so much to me. I already feel like I've grown.
Another thing that I found out..which was supposed to be a secret, is that I'll be getting kidnapped for my 21st birthday. My friends are gonna fly out and we're possibly going to Vegas or Wendover. IT'S GONNA BE SO MUCH FUN. I can't wait for it!! So I'll be in a wedding, gettin to go to Vegas or Wendover, then to SCOTLAND, then to DC!!! This next year is gonna be BOMB!
Jonas: How'd you learn to drive?
Teal'c: Daniel Jackson instructed me.
Jonas: When was that?
Teal'c: I believe the year was 1969.
August 22, 2008 at 3:42 PM
Hi CB -- It sounds like you're starting down a path that is right for you. Live your life for yourself and not for someone else, especially at this point in your life. It's no fun to live with regrets, guilt, or "what ifs." Build a life that has meaning for you first; something that belongs to you and no one can take away.
Oh yeah..... Wear sunscreen! LOL! :-D
Love ya,
Dad
August 23, 2008 at 9:19 AM
OMG, Baby! What a bombshell you have just dropped on us all! All I can say is...I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!! Your post sounds so mature and thoughtful, though I know that inside you're all churned up with excitement, anticipation, and quite a bit of fear and nervousness, too. I think this is a wonderful idea you have, to follow in Andi's footsteps and get out to see the world. You know, in the back of my mind I've had, for quite some time, a distinct suspicion that somehow or way you would end up going to the AI in DC. Remember when we tried to find it that time? It started then, and I guess I've carried the idea with me for that long. At the time, of course, it seemed like it would be so convenient for you to be able to room with Andi until you got your bearings, but perhaps it's even better that there is the possibility of a permanent roomie that you already know well. And your dad is there in case of an emergency, and though that's unlikely, it does make you mom more comfortable. I gotta tell you that I was - and still am - extremely nervous when Andi went "all by her onesies," as she is preparing to do again!
Anywho, I just wanted to tell you how jazzed I am. All my babies are doing such grand and wonderful things, and I am so full of love and pride that I can scarcely contain myself. And I know your dad feels the same way. Mucho kudos!