Well, Friday night Ronnie and I were arguing via text messages. Actually, let me be honest. I kind of freaked out. I got home from my pictures and wanted to spend time with him and whatnot. He was having friends over and it kinda pissed me off that he didn't invite me, plus that was the same day I got the mean news from my dad- I wanted to discuss it with him. So, I went through a mini breakdown and got all worked up over it and went to bed pretty hurt and stuff, but we were planning on talking it out the next day.
So, the next morning rolls around and I'm feeling horribly low. And, this is gonna sound really extreme, but I was contemplating some pretty....scary things. I'll just leave it at that. He came by and picked me up and we went out to lunch and all that, but the nice thing was, is that...he seemed a lot better and that made me feel better. We didn't need to talk it out a whole lot, but since I didn't brush my feelings off the previous night and told him how I felt, I think that that made him realize how I was feeling and that I needed him to listen to me.
Before you go thinking that Ronnie's the bad guy in this, he's really not. I pretty much started the whole thing by jumping to conclusions and basically freaking out on him. In retrospect, I'm laughing at how I acted because it was so dumb, but my feelings were legitimate and I think he saw that. Ronnie is a really amazing man, and I'm so glad that we're still together after almost 2 years. It just goes to show that even with all the problems we've had, we still want to be together and are willing to make it work no matter what. It's a good feeling.
Now! Onto more positive matters! I got this adorable video of Polo last night that I wanna share with you!
So, the next morning rolls around and I'm feeling horribly low. And, this is gonna sound really extreme, but I was contemplating some pretty....scary things. I'll just leave it at that. He came by and picked me up and we went out to lunch and all that, but the nice thing was, is that...he seemed a lot better and that made me feel better. We didn't need to talk it out a whole lot, but since I didn't brush my feelings off the previous night and told him how I felt, I think that that made him realize how I was feeling and that I needed him to listen to me.
Before you go thinking that Ronnie's the bad guy in this, he's really not. I pretty much started the whole thing by jumping to conclusions and basically freaking out on him. In retrospect, I'm laughing at how I acted because it was so dumb, but my feelings were legitimate and I think he saw that. Ronnie is a really amazing man, and I'm so glad that we're still together after almost 2 years. It just goes to show that even with all the problems we've had, we still want to be together and are willing to make it work no matter what. It's a good feeling.
Now! Onto more positive matters! I got this adorable video of Polo last night that I wanna share with you!
I love her so much! Hope you guys like it!
June 29, 2008 at 4:27 PM
I think I can imagine the "pretty scary things..." Sweetie, you're right. Ronnie is NOT the bad guy, but neither are you. There IS no bad guy. Sometimes we screw up in our interactions with those we love, but the important thing is that you talked it out TOGETHER. Next time you start contemplating scary things, remember that. And remember also that other people love you, too, and that no matter how much you may feel hurt or betrayed by one of us, there are always others who will be there to help you through the pain. But who would help US through the pain of losing YOU?!
June 30, 2008 at 11:02 AM
Yeah, and that's what it ultimately came down to it for me. Frankly, I'm just too damn stubborn to go through with it, and knowing that I have unfinished business really hit it home. I wouldn't want to put you guys through that, just how I wouldn't wanna be put through it either. Thank you mom! I love you!